Like glaciers and tectonic plates, teeth are slowly yet surely on the move as they attempt to turn their host’s mouth into frozen tundra and then rip it apart like a bite-size Pangaea. Defeat devious teeth with today’s Groupon: for $2,900, you get a complete Invisalign orthodontic treatment at Framingham Cosmetic Dentist in Framingham (a $6,000 value).

Invisalign straightens crooked chompers with a combination of highly advanced 3-D computer graphics and the spells of old-fashioned orthodontia. The process eschews cumbersome braces for clear, removable aligners that are virtually invisible to the unclothed eye. An initial exam, including x-rays, photos, and impressions of your mouth terrain, paves the way for a flurry of calibrated teeth sheaths that are designed to slowly shift walnut crackers into perfect alignment. View some Invisalign FAQs here.

Under the compassionate care of 30-year dentistry vet Dr. Ron J. Kolodziej, porcelain parabolas are strapped into as few as 12 or as many as 48 separate aligners worn during a period of 6–18 months. In appointments scheduled every six–eight weeks, Kolodziej monitors each beak with the corrective cajoling necessary for the straightening effect to finally self-actuate in a sudden burst of pink smoke and slobber. Protuberant tusks receive a progressively straight set of aligners every two weeks, which can be removed only when eating, brushing, flossing, or modeling a finely clenched jaw.