Bodies of water are frequent metaphors in poetry due to their unfathomable depths, unknowable sprawl, and unattainable porpoises. Set sail into the enigma with today's Groupon: for $31, you get a high-speed adventure cruise from 1000 Islands & Seaway Cruises in Brockville (up to a $64.95 value). This deal expires September 2.

1000 Islands ushers passengers onto a modern, twin-deck vessel for a sweeping 38-nautical-mile tour along the St. Lawrence River. During the two-hour excursion, the Wildcat speedboat awes up to 54 seafarers with fine-tuned slalom skills and views of three historic lighthouses, the short bridge on Zavikon Island, and the Boldt and Singer Castles, two lavish estates perched on the Brockville waterfront. Patrons, outfitted in stylish memory-foam life jackets, can perfect kissy faces to accompany wind-blown hair at speeds of up to 45 miles per hour while they relish panoramas of exotic wildlife and ships on the seaway from the upper deck, which is dotted with padded chairs.