Without automobiles, mayors would be forced to accommodate teams of bobsledding commuters by modifying their city's drive-thrus for faster service and buttering the streets. Celebrate uphill engine work with today's Groupon: for $34, you get a one-year Classic primary membership to AAA (a $68 value).

AAA's membership services lift worry burdens from the captains of cars, trucks, SUVs, and vans with comprehensive roadside assistance. Retrieve rapidly melting sundaes from hot cars with up to $50 worth of coverage for locksmith services, or restore limping vehicles to their regular gallop with spare-tire installation. Jumpstart and battery-replacement services encourage injured vehicles to get back on the road on their own steam, and muscle-bound towers cart immobile cars up to 5 miles or to the nearest AAA repair shop.

Free delivery of gas fuels long road trips foiled by faulty gauges, and winching and extraction services undo wrong turns into quicksand pits. A vast selection of discounts enables easier access to hotels and businesses, and travel services, such as maps and tour books, ensure quick routes and worthwhile destinations. Unlike the Babysitter's Club, this membership does not auto-renew and you may cancel anytime.