Like UFO tractor beams, aesthetic lasers harness the power of light to take hold of unsuspecting furry targets, leaving behind only a smooth clearing and amazed country folk. Abduct your unwanted hairs with today's Groupon to AH Laser Aesthetics in Arlington Heights. Choose between two options:

• For $150, you get six laser hair-removal treatments for one small area (up to a $950 value).
• For $350, you get six laser hair-removal treatments for one large area (up to an $1,800 value).

Click here for a list of valid treatment areas.

With a physician-guided staff wielding the latest laser technology, AH Laser Aesthetics expertly spruces and smoothes skin of all types. After a thorough skin analysis, a certified bristle banisher will apply a specialized pulsing laser that acts as an Old West sharpshooter, precisely targeting each hair follicle without damaging the surrounding skin, inflicting excess pain, or accidentally shooting the beloved saloon player-piano.

Small-area treatments take an average of 15–20 minutes, and larger areas can take up to an hour. The noninvasive nature of the technology produces fuzz-reduced fledglings with little downtime, allowing customers to quickly return to everyday bikini bearing, cocktail-dress cavorting, and even more aerodynamic human-torpedoing.