For too long, the gentle laser has been forced into a mind-numbing existence of reading an endless number of bar codes and destroying planets. Give laser light a much-deserved career change with today's Groupon: for $149, you get three laser hair-removal treatments at Alite Laser Hair Removal & Skin Rejuvenation (up to a $559 value). Click here for a list of valid treatment areas. This Groupon is only valid at the South IH-35 location.

Technicians at Alite Laser zap away unwanted hair with GentleLASE or GentleYAG cosmetic lasers depending on the patient's particular skin tone. Both lasers bombard follicles with long-pulse light energy that shears off hair at the root and also attempts to inhibit future growth by telling it to stop in Morse code. Multiple treatments on a single area are usually necessary for best results. A Dynamic Cooling Device helps soothe the topmost dermal layer by spraying it with quick bursts of cryogen throughout the session. The lasers are designed to treat the skin without damaging any pores or temporary tattoos of Joyce DeWitt, and the staff's signature method of marking the skin during treatments seeks to ensure a thorough smoothing. Women customers may upgrade to a Brazilian bikini ($35 per treatment) or half-legs ($75), and men customers may upgrade to a back package ($100).