If comic books have taught us anything, it's that getting zapped with mysterious rays always gives you crime-fighting abilities—in this case, superhuman smoothness. Let your skin fulfill its dream of pummeling two-bit hoodlums with today's Groupon: for $99, you get one photofacial laser rejuvenation at Allure Skin and Laser in Queen Creek.

The experienced staff at Allure Skin and Laser specializes in nonsurgical, skin-changing laser services. Patients can counteract the dermis-defacing effects of the sun, airborne irritants, and clown-thrown pies with the photofacial laser rejuvenation ($400). The state-of-the-art procedure uses a Palomar StarLux 500 to introduce the skin to nonsurgical yet effective pulses of light, which cause blood vessels and pigmented lesions to fade like an Etch A Sketch in an earthquake within a matter of weeks.

Unlike soaking in quicksand, Allure Skin and Laser gives your skin a revivifying overhaul without sucking the rest of your body into a deep pit. Use today’s deal to sweet-talk the wrinkles, stains, and leftover pasta out of your skin. Call ahead to schedule an appointment.