Propane is 1.5 times as dense as air, which is why it never understands oxygen's political cartoons in the New Yorker. Sublimate to comedic transcendence with today's Groupon: for $7, you get a refill on a propane tank of up to 20 pounds at Altogas, valid at all three locations in Alto, Charlotte, and Edmore (a $15.90 value).

For more than 25 years, Altogas has supplied homes and backyard barbecues with tanks of clean-burning, eco-friendly propane gas. After depleting their existing reservoirs, customers roll the empty cylinders to Altogas headquarters, where technicians safely replenish them with new, fresh supplies. Returning home full and ready to burn, each tank can resume fueling a standard barbecue grill, turkey deep fryer, or two-fifths of an animatronic bear band.