Paintball is a lot like chess in that both require complex strategizing and both are almost impossible to win against autonomous robots. Triumph over noncyborg opponents with today's Groupon: for $37, you get entry, air, equipment rental, and 500 paintball rounds at American Paintball Park in Livermore (a $75 value).

American Paintball Park challenges paint blasting amateurs and aficionados alike with five separate courses, spread over six paintable acres. Equipment rental includes 500 rounds of ammunition, a new Tippmann 98 shooter with a 200-ball capacity, a Ninja high-pressure air tank with all day refills, and a V-Force Armor FieldVision mask which is yours to keep for future play or use as a decorative fruit bowl. Each field features strategic elements, such as large spools, hay mazes, dirt mounds, and barrels. Beginners are typically separated from the more advanced players, as the multiple courses allow for several games to be played at once.

American Paintball Park's facilities include a paved parking area, private lockers, shaded picnic and staging areas, cleaning stations, and a shooting range. A concession stand dispenses food-based fuel to hungry players, although customers are encouraged to bring water and a favorite snack, as well as sunscreen and complicated tax forms to distract competitors. Business suits are not recommended, as clothes and equipment will get dirty, so wear older, thicker clothes and comfortable running shoes during games.