Adding water results in less floury biscuits, larger foam dinosaurs, and slides that won't give a shirtless cousin friction burn. Douse yourself in smooth-moving good times with today's Groupon: for $99, you get one night’s accommodation in a standard room (a $149 value), water-park entry (included in room rate), one 14-inch pizza from Shipwreck Pizza (a $14.95 value), four large sodas (a $10 value), four large Dippin’ Dots (a $20 value), and arcade tokens for four people (a $20 value) at AmericInn Ashland and Splashland water park (a $213.95 total value) in Ashland, Wisconsin.

Located on the scenic shores of Lake Superior, AmericInn Ashland offers a unique family getaway just a few hours’ drive from Minneapolis. The hotel is home to Splashland water park, an indoor, pirate-themed aquatic playground and the perfect way to holiday on the high seas without the inconvenience of barnacles or Magellanic inferiority complexes. Days begin with a complimentary breakfast buffet, then slide feet-first into unlimited aquatic adventure at Splashland Waterpark, where 200 feet of corkscrew and speed waterslides are waiting to be reverse-scaled by bold guests. Budding buccaneers can man the pool’s dumping buckets, water cannons, and spray hoses to settle familial disputes or start new, more enjoyable ones. Then, after hours of water-based warfare, reunite over a poolside bounty of belly-warming booty, including a 14-inch pizza from Shipwreck Pizza, four large sodas, and four large Dippin’ Dots. Finally, take refueled recreation engines for a spin with $20 of tokens to game away in the arcade.

At the end of the day, guests rest their weary water-wings in one of AmericInn’s clean and comfortable standard rooms or may upgrade to a suite, complete with mini fridge, microwave, and private patio for $10 more. In addition to Splashland, the facility also offers amenities including a ship-free sauna, fitness center, paddleboats, bicycles, and a private beach. When the sun starts to set, nights can be spent toasting complimentary s’mores around the lakeside fire, grilling up a storm in the picnic area, or rust-proofing your 19th-century deep-sea diving suit for more aquatic hijinks the next day.