More than 70% of the earth is covered in water, which fails to explain why the remaining 30% of the earth contains 100% more water parks than the moon. Disregard hard science and splash around instead with today's deal to Bunker Beach, an outdoor aquatic park located inside Coon Rapids' Bunker Hills Regional Park. Choose one of two admission types:

• $5 for regular admission for guests less than 48 inches tall or senior citizens ages 62+ ($11 value)
• $7 for regular admission for guests more than 48 inches tall ($14 value)

The newly-expanded Bunker Beach is fully equipped for safe summer splashing, with wave pools, waterslides, and a 900-foot river that is acceptably lazy and disinclined to get a job. Landlocked land lovers can seek their thrills on the shifting seas of the wave pool—one of the largest in Minnesota—from the comfort of Bunker Beach's sturdy tubes ($3 for two-hour rental), test their catlike-ness with the balance-befuddling Wiggly Water Walk, or flume down one of the park's six towering water slides, four for tubes and two for bodies (riders must be at least 48 inches tall to ride water slides). Parents, meanwhile, can watch comfortably from the shores of the adventure pool, which is filled with spray cannons, waterfalls, and child-friendly shallow depths. Tiny tots can also enjoy the sandy-beach area, well equipped for castle creation and sandworm riding.

Even if you creepily fail to get wet during a day of playing in the water at Bunker Beach, you can still drench yourself in concession-area eats such as pizza, ice cream, and delectable cheese curds. DIY diners, on the other hand, can spread a red-checkered blanket just outside the park at nearby picnic facilities (re-admission valid with hand-stamp). Celebrate the long-anticipated return of warmth through splashtacular waves, sunsational waves, and hot summer days devoid of bad puns with today's Groupon to Bunker Beach.

The Groupon does not include the standard $5 vehicle entry fee for Bunker Hills Regional Park.