Though best known for expanding the limits of human thought, the great philosophers were also ardent proponents of skin treatments, rarely furrowing their brows without first applying a de-furrowing cucumber mask. Today’s Groupon will wipe out your own signs of deep thought in a much more modern manner: for $49, you get your choice of a microdermabrasion ($95) OR a chemical peel ($95–$150) at Austin Med Spa (up to a $150 value), an almost aggressively relaxing studio in Old West Austin.

Because human faces experience a lifetime of wear and tear from gravity, driving into the wind, and pineapple-pie-eating contests, a microdermabrasion is just the thing to remove black holes, crusted bug guts, and fruit bits—not to mention fine lines, wrinkles, and age spots. Austin Med Spa's microdermabrasion uses the power of a tiny whirling octopus to carefully spray a mist of fine aluminum oxide onto the skin, removing that no-good, lazy upper layer of skin. At the same time, the device gently vacuums up the excess oxide crystals and dead dermis. The process stimulates new collagen, firming and toning the skin into a more youthful look.

A chemical peel accomplishes the same Zamboni-like task as microdermabrasion through resurfacing compounds rather than Newtonian physics. Better suited for sensitive, easily abraded skin, a chemical peel also comes in a wider variety of flavors, though none would make for a very appetizing ice cream. The glycolic 30% eliminates actinic keratosis to smooth and even out aging skin, whereas the salicylic 30% deep-cleans the pores. The Modified Jessner combines multiple acids to obliterate melasma, freckles, acne, and rosacea. And if an oily face effectively Exxon Valdezes the entire beach every time you go swimming, Austin Med Spa's enzyme peel can clear it using the power of fruit enzymes.

Best results come with a continued series of treatments over time. Today's Groupon to Austin Med Spa gets you started so that you can convincingly play your younger selves in Hollywood's upcoming biopic of your life.

Reviews

Five Citysearchers give Austin Med Spa a perfect five stars:

• This place is comfortable and inviting. Most of the time, I am out of there in less than half an hour. Best of all, the results have been fantastic. – rcullet
• The staff at Austin Med Spa is always courteous, well-trained, professional and friendly. They have the latest equipment and are always ahead of anyone with treatments and procedures. They are always "on time" with appointments and focus entirely on your treatment. – LBoyle