Hair is like detailed knowledge of X-Files plotlines—while extremely useful, revealing too much of it in the wrong place can sink your social life. Today's Groupon abducts rogue hairs with technology invented by a shadowy group of elites known only as the Syndicate: for $99, you get three laser hair-removal treatments (of a single area) at Azia Medical Spa on Narrows Parkway (up to a $525 value, depending on the hair-removal area). Use this Groupon to have hair evicted from one of the following areas: the upper lip, chin, ears, neck, underarms, or bikini line.

Azia is one of Birmingham's newest budding medi-spas, offering a full list of services overseen by highly trained medical and aesthetic professionals. Laser hair removal enables clients to ditch cumbersome skin-grooming techniques such as shaving, waxing, and bathing with porcupines, and it eliminates unwanted whiskers more permanently by disabling growth at the root. During each of the three treatments, a strand-zapping expert will perform an elegant dance over the skin's surface with a Palomar Starlux 500 System laser as a partner. Each follicle to interfere with the foxtrotting footwork will be called out by a pulsating flash of laser light, causing deep embarrassment and its subsequent departure from the auditorium of your skin.

The exact number of treatments required to achieve lasting hairlessness varies from person to person, but on average, five bouts of laser blasting does the trick. Customers seeking double the surface smoothing can purchase two of today's Groupon, though they must be used for two separate areas. Call to schedule your first treatment and resultant trek down the path to becoming an aerodynamic, water-wicking bullet of a being.

Reviews

Six Google Mappers give Azia Medical Spa an average of 4.5 stars:

• this is a wonderful med-spa, a 'gem' in my opinion. – kim
• The staff are so friendly and helpful as well. – Britani