Adding water results in less floury biscuits, larger foam dinosaurs, and slides that won't give a shirtless cousin friction burn. Douse yourself in smooth-moving good times with today's Groupon to Big Surf Waterpark, which is located in Tempe. Choose between the following options:

• For $13, you get a general-admission ticket (up to a $26 value).
• For $34, you get a season pass (a $69 value).

Big Surf Waterpark offers aquatic fun for land life of all ages with a diverse selection of rides and slides and an oceanic 2.5 million-gallon wave pool. Beat the summer sun’s attempt to turn your body into a giant raisin by escaping for a day or a full season to a welcome oasis of skin-moisturizing water. Swimmers can surf faux waves that wash ashore every three minutes at Waikiki Beach, a wave pool that mimics the ocean’s rolling motions. Big Surf splashes a watery spree of entertainment across multiple acres, with rides such as the Black Hole, a dark, enclosed slide that sucks guests into a swirling abyss and spits them out into another dimension. Younger park-goers can enjoy Captain Cook’s Landing, a shallow pool play place for toddlers and their steadily walking grownup escorts that features an oversized frog and an herbivorous alligator for company.

To maintain the highest safety standards, Big Surf’s lifeguards are all licensed in first aid, CPR, AED, and water-rescue procedures. Life jackets, which are required inside Waikiki Beach for those 48 inches and shorter, are provided free of charge. Though outside food and drink will be confiscated and fed to an on-site hungry hippo (factory-sealed bottled water is okay), guests can feed on Big Surf’s park fare, which includes Dreyer’s ice cream and melt-resistant Icees.

Rafts, surfboards, boogie boards, and lockers can all be rented for an additional fee. See frequently asked questions here.