Although it doesn't provide the discomfort and high ticket prices associated with an airport pat-down, a massage is still an effective tool for discovering concealed knives and small firearms. Prove you’re not packing in the most relaxing way with today’s Groupon: for $25, you get your choice of a 55-minute Swedish, deep-tissue, or ashiatsu massage (a $55 value) at Body and Soul Therapeutic Massage School, a combined instructional center and professional practice on Hillside Street.

Body and Soul offers a comprehensive menu of massage-therapy services to help clients decrease their stress, eliminate their soreness, and boost their overall wellness. Although the facility plays host to a full stock of students seeking certification, today's Groupon gets you a 55-minute massage with one of the already-certified specialists in Body and Soul's professional sect, all of whom have completed hundreds of hours of training and elicited trillions of blissful oohs and aahs. Submit to the Scandinavian sorcery of a Swedish massage, designed to increase circulation and decimate tension more effectively than bobbing for meatballs in a crystalline fjord. Deep-tissue massages, which start with the patient and therapist strategizing how to best attack specific aches and pains, help restore bodies to like-new condition, whereas ashiatsu massages put the therapist feet-first on the patient's back for even more powerful (yet completely controlled) pressure.

A friendly, inviting atmosphere helps Body and Soul extract stress before, during, and after massage treatments, allowing it to evaporate into the air and pass through charcoal filters––at which point it's converted into giggle gas and Dumbo's mom singing "Baby Mine." Call to schedule your appointment.