Without gyms, people would resort to outdated fitness techniques such as swimming and pushing Model Ts up slight inclines. Celebrate contemporary fitness with today's Groupon: for $39, you get a two-month gym membership (a $98 value) to Brickhouse Gym in Denton.

With a bevy of top-quality machines and a suite of fun, challenging group classes, Brickhouse Gym enables fitness seekers to sculpt bone bags into statuesque perfection. A two-month membership endows lifters, sprinters, and regular ambulators with unlimited access to cardio machines and free weights, enabling intensive muscle building and fat shedding for swimsuit season or for silencing judgmental full-length mirrors. Those seeking the motivation and camaraderie of group classes can avail themselves of aerobic regimens such as spinning, cardio kickboxing, and dance-based Zumba (click here to see class schedules). Self-defense classes, taught by seventh-degree Isshinryu karate black belt Robert Kristensen, build discipline and the self-confidence to combat mutant-reptile basement infestations. A resident nutritionist helps members adjust unhealthy diets, crafting personalized nutritional programs and meal-planning guides that help guests achieve their weight-loss goals.

The friendly Brickhouse staff focuses on creating a comfortable environment for workers-out, answering questions, offering advice, and even providing child care, which lets parents get their calorie-burning fix with tots in tow without having to encase progeny in protective carbonite while exercising.