Notorious for spreading disease, rodents and insects have blighted humanity with the bubonic plague, typhus, and at least three of the Rocky sequels. Keep your abode unsullied by vermin with today’s Groupon: for $59, you get a one-time inside spray and a granular perimeter treatment with a 30-day guarantee from Bug Express Pest Control (a $130 value).

Licensed by the Texas Department of Agriculture, Bug Express Pest Control has helped San Angelo residents eliminate a plethora of pests from their premises using time-tested control methods and the most advanced bug-battling techniques available. The family-owned company’s uniformed commandos know how to wage war on many an unwanted invader, including ants, cockroaches, rodents, centipedes, termites, Tremors worms, and bedbugs. The one-time inside spray delivers a death blow to these clandestine creepy-crawlies without any adverse effects on the property or the mammals who dwell in it. The granular perimeter treatment is guaranteed to do the same to the mulch beds and plants surrounding your house for 30 days, ensuring that it doesn’t become overrun with drunken, rowdy ticks flashing their thoraxes during this year’s spring break. To help prevent future outbreaks and infestations, the Bug Express team will share plenty of secrets on the insect life cycle, the ways they interact with the environment, and how you can exploit their vulnerabilities, such as their deep-seated insecurities about never getting into med school.