Robots are good for many things, including freaking out dogs and launching war on mankind, but they often lack the gentleness of a human touch. Rather than having bitter robots wash your car at a gas station, this deal gets your ride the luxurious hand washing it deserves: for $13, you get a Gold Package hand wash and tire shine at Cartique Car Wash in Roswell (up to a $44 value). There is an additional $5 charge for large SUVs, full-size trucks, and box trucks.

Established in 1995, Cartique specializes in high-quality auto cleaning executed with the softest of whipped-cream-caressing touches. Customers pulling their grocery haulers into Cartique’s glistening family-owned abode are greeted by an experienced staff of dirt-blasting pros that smell like newly minted dollar bills. Each sedan ($35), SUV ($40), and wagon ($40) will be treated to a thorough Gold Package hand wash that includes a gentle exterior hand wash, chamois hand dry, hand buff, and express wax that scares off pterodactyls with its blindingly lustrous sheen. Interiors are assiduously cleansed of grime with an interior vacuum, window cleaning, dash and console wipe, and raccoon removal. Additionally, weathered tires are cleaned and treated to a luminous tire shine ($1 per tire) that efficiently removes dust, debris, and acne.

The quality hand-wash treatment at Cartique Car Wash eliminates any drag-creating buildup that might slow down customers’ land-trains and inhibit them from making jumps through time. They’ll know their cars are finished when they look into the fully buffed exterior and see reflections of their younger selves, just like a grown-up Peter Pan imagining what his life would have been like had he stayed in Neverland.

Reviews

Though reviews are mixed on customer service, six Citysearchers give Cartique Car Wash an average rating of 3.5 stars:

• From the moment I was greeted I was treated as A VIP. – mellenman
• We like the attention to detail and the difference that a good hand car wash makes. – RFB1