The gymnasiums of antiquity required athletes to exercise in tattered togas, which is why we still call athletic people “ripped,” “torn,” and “ruggedly philosophical.” Work out with your Grecian garb out with today’s Groupon: for $79, you get a four-month membership to Challenge Fitness in Lockport (up to a $168 value).

Challenge Fitness whips bodies into shape with more than 30 cardio machines and a stable of Life Fitness strength machines. Members may pound muscle groups on the fitness-room machines by running, lifting, and fist pumping before washing off and entering the five-lane, 25-yard lap pool to cool off or reenact Wilford Brimley's scenes from Cocoon. A 10-person whirlpool whispers to lap-swimmers, inviting them to take a break in gently swirling, heated waters for the sake of soothing joint aches and stiff sinews. Challenge Fitness trainers facilitate aerobics and fitness classes to help to direct and refine body-sculpting efforts that would otherwise run wild (classes not included with this Groupon, but available for an additional fee). For days when the spirit of sportsmanship visits the gym, members may rent one of the seven tennis courts ($16–$21), the racquetball courts ($6/hour for the court), or the wallyball courts ($3/hour per player).