Without nails, hard-to-reach spots would forever itch and digits would be too delicate to put on finger-puppet renditions of Die Hard. Appreciate your multifunctional features with today’s Groupon to Cheshire Nails. Choose between the following options:

• For $15, you get a Shellac manicure (a $30 value).
• For $24, you get a VIP pedicure (a $48 value).

The seasoned digit-decorating artists of Cheshire Nails pamper phalangeal appendages with skin-smoothing masks, buffing ministrations, and colorful polishings. Finger and toe renovations commence with a buff, file, and trim, creating uniform tensomes free of nicks and incriminating replicas of neighbors’ keys. Staffers then coat fingernails in a colorful gel polish of choice, which fuses to nails under the heated rays of a UV lamp to create up to two weeks of chip-free appendage accessorizing. VIP pedicures coddle heels with the application of hot stones, which melt away mileage before a marine mask seeps into skin to soothe roughened calluses. A moisturizing paraffin dip then seals in moisture levels, leaving little piggies softer than the Downy bear after a long winter’s nap in the dryer.