Exercise would be doubly efficient if people could split into two halves and have both body sections burn calories simultaneously on a tandem bike. Today's Groupon gives the most of feasible workouts: for $39, non-members get 14 visits to ClubSport Pleasanton (a $280 value). All 14 sessions must be completed before expiration of your Groupon purchase, and you must be 21 years or older. For those not yet tall enough to ride the elliptical, childcare is available by reservation for up to two hours per visit ($5 per hour per child, up to two kiddos ages six months to 12 years per exercising adult) at the Kids World Childcare Center

The luxurious facilities at ClubSport Pleasanton are large enough to stump seventh-grade geometry students and solidify "ClubSport" as a successful punch line to a yo-mamma joke. The facility houses four pools, 11 racquetball courts, heaps of the latest exercise equipment, piles of uncut iron, and more. With today's deal, you get access to the whole ClubSport kit-and-caboodle, including any of the 150 drop-in fitness classes that take place each week. Learn to do the downward-facing dobsonfly in a yoga class, or unleash your dropkick-craving thigh muscles in the kickboxing class, then soak sore muscles in the adults-only aquatics area and relax poolside with a drink. Ten indoor and four outdoor tennis courts—plus an eager USPTA-certified staff—await your un-returnable backhand and ball-punishing serves. Check out information on all the amenities here.

Whether it's delinquent core muscles that need a talking-to, sports-withdrawal jitters that need calming, or former reverse-mermaids in need of a daily swim, the expansive facilities are the means to any end. For those not yet tall enough to ride the elliptical, childcare is available by reservation for up to two hours per visit ($5 per hour, up to two kiddos ages six months to 12 years per exercising adult) at the 9,000-square-foot Kids World Childcare Center. With holiday season approaching faster than a flock of flamingos, now is the ideal time to get in shape for this season's envelope-pushing embroidered sweaters.

Non-members only. This deal is not valid for private instruction. Tennis availability is limited; same-day drop-in only, advance court reservation is not available. Groupon users can pay a non-member fee for one-on-one instructional services.

Reviews

ClubSport Pleasanton can be seen here on Best of the Bay. It has a four-star average from Yelpers and more than 700 Facebook fans:

• When our friend told us we could go swimming, we had no idea it would be a resort-type setting like this! A saline pool? You mean, no damage to my skin nor eyes nor hair, even if my head goes underwater? I'm so there! – S.E. E., Yelp
• The facilities are always clean, I've never had to wait more than a few minutes for any machine or equipment, and I've found everyone to be pleasant and/or friendly. – Andi T., Yelp