A dirty carpet is like a guilty conscience—it's always nagging you from the background, and it prevents you from eating off the floor in peace. Clean your rug with today's deal: for $59, you get two rooms (up to 250 square feet each) of home carpet cleaning from COIT (a $150 value). With today's Groupon, you'll also receive 20% off any additional services during the same visit.

A plasma TV, heated marble driveway, jeweled pool, or 65 state-of-the-art CCTV cameras might seem like the biggest investment you've made in your home, but carpet is a home's actual opulence. Regular cleanings are necessary to keep it looking new and tasting splendid. Let COIT's fully trained and certified technicians visit your home with their truck-mounted carpet-cleaning system, which thoroughly expunges accumulated soil, grit, Lego helmets, pet puke, and butter statues of cows eating sticks of butter, all while preventing bacteria from holding barbecues nonstop. The technicians pay extra attention to spots, heavy-traffic areas, and malodorous odors, tailoring each treatment to the needs of the particular carpet. Prepare for the visit by moving breakables from the area and leaving any pets tied up in the backyard, weather permitting.

Carpets are necessary for a variety of reasons, from adding color and character to a residence to protecting mortal eyes from the phosphorescent cat demons that live beneath all floorboards. A visit from COIT will ensure that your carpet looks its best and is not fading from reality in blurred patches.