After a long day of besieging steppe settlements, the Mongol hordes liked to kick back with a vigorous massage, a copy of the Daily Khan, and a nice warm glass of fermented yak's milk. Conquer your own serenity with today’s Groupon: for $75, you get a spa package that includes a Fast Signature Facial, a 30-minute Swedish massage, and a foot detox treatment at The Spa at Commerce Casino (a $155 total value).

The Spa at Commerce Casino ensorcells forms with treatments that sap away stress and improve introductory aesthetics. Revivify tired mugs with the 30-minute Fast Signature Facial, which begins with an in-depth skin analysis that identifies epidermal problems, including dryness, excessive oil, and difficult-to-detect camouflage pigmentation. Pore cleaning unclogs acne-prone skin, followed by a choice of a hydrating or deep-cleansing mask that lets face-bearers customize their rejuvenating treatments. In the therapeutic Swedish massage, skillful digits ease kinked-up bone movers, leaching out achiness and leaving muscles relaxed enough to avenge crushing Twister defeats from arrogant Gumbys. An ionic foot bath finishes off spa sessions, gently coaxing toxins out through feet with the allure of a warm bath.

Treatments take place in an opulent spa lined with marble surfaces and wooden furniture, and complimentary robes and slippers ensconce bodies in plush comfort. The expansive locker rooms complete the pampering atmosphere with saunas, whirlpools, and quiet rooms, perfect for escaping the everyday noises of traffic, airplanes, and feral, headline-spouting newsies.