It was Benjamin Franklin who famously quipped, "Opposable thumbs, running shoes, and cookies for breakfast are the only things separating us from the animals." Tie some dignity to your feet with today's Groupon: for $99, you get a pair of custom-crafted insoles at Corey's Bootery (a $338 value).

Corey's Bootery assuages arches and relieves foot ailments with a vast selection of comfort footwear and shoe-repair services. With an experienced staff of booties builders, including three ABC-certified pedorthists, Corey's Bootery custom builds insoles ($338 value) to conform to the structural characteristics, including problematic pathologies and neurotic toe-tapping idiosyncrasies, of each leg-end. Casted by one of the board-certified foot wranglers, molds of tender toes will be set and sent to Corey's Bootery's shoe-art lab to fabricate footprints into weight-bearing pillows. Though each cushiony cloud is constructed to fit the curves and bounds of damaged digits and ailing arches, free adjustments are provided to ensure optimal foot relief with the best fit possible.

In addition to outfitting insoles, the friendly staff can also advise which footgear is best to correct calluses, soothe paws affected by diabetes, or quiet ticklish taluses. The full-service shoe repair is designed to refurbish shoes that hold sentimental value or sand down heels that have been whittled into razor-sharp machetes.