Hair is like detailed knowledge of X-Files plotlines—while extremely useful, revealing too much of it in the wrong place can sink your social life. Today's Groupon abducts rogue hairs with technology invented by a shadowy group of elites known only as the Syndicate. For $99, you get three laser hair removal sessions at Cosmetic Laser Solutions in Conway. Cosmetic Laser Solutions' state-of-the-art collection of lasers were sent back through time to terminate unwanted hair quickly and safely, using tough yet gentle photons that harmlessly pass through the skin and directly impact follicles. Experienced technicians can evict pesky hair from the upper lip, bikini line, chin, abdomen, or pancreas. Or, they can exile errant threads from sideburns, underarms, eyebrows, or beneath pinky toenails (treatments range from $95–$190 per session). A doctor is always on hand to monitor treatments, and lasers are calibrated for empathy and small talk. Call ahead to schedule your treatments.