Pistons and shafts overheat and seize up unless protected by a slick, shiny coating of oil, just like classical Greco-Roman wrestlers. Keep your engine parts from throttling each other with today's Groupon: for $17, you get a lube, filter, and oil change at Crippen Auto Mall (a $35.02 value).

The trained technicians at Crippen Auto Mall perform life-saving transfusions to keep engines turning gas into skid marks for miles. After hoisting the car in the air, an experienced mechanic drains out old oil to rid engines of dirt and debris and attaches a fresh filter to keep grimy particles out of the private affairs of reclusive engines. A blend of natural and synthetic 5W-30 oil employs the combined powers of nature and science to keep engines churning smoothly before a multipoint vehicle inspection administers a routine physical to ensure each aging auto's good health and check to see that it's eating a balanced diet of unleaded meals.