Contrary to popular belief, boats are actually much safer than cars, which inexplicably sink every time you drive them on water. Take a proper water-road ride with today’s Groupon: for $8, you get an adult boat cruise tour (a $16 value) at Cumberland River Cruises in Lebanon. This Groupon can also be applied toward more-expensive tours, though you will have to pay the difference. Reservations are required.

With Cumberland River Cruises, water travelers will enjoy scenic vistas of the Cumberland River and Old Hickory Lake from the deck of Discovery, a red-, white-, and blue-topped pontoon boat operated by Jesse Caskey. The company's river tours treat hungry eyes to the naturally lovely sights of nature, like a full moon’s reflection in the river’s shimmering looking glass, the beautiful reds and bruised pinks that suffuse Old Hickory Lake when the sun sets the horizon on fire, and—in autumn—a symphony of falling gold-red and butter-yellow leaves as majestic flocks of Major League Baseball teams fly south for the winter. Most tours operate from Thursday through Sunday and are tentatively scheduled for 3 p.m., 5 p.m., and 7 p.m., although schedules will vary based on sunset time. All tours include water and soft drinks.

For a few extra sheets of Monopoly money, children ages 2 to 12 ($10) and accompanying grown-up children ($18) get three hours of flotatious fun during the Kids Kruise, which leaves at 10 a.m. from Thursday through Sunday. Country music fans, however, may want to opt for the Stars on the Lake tour ($25), a 2.5-hour waterway wander among the riverside homes of various country music stars such as Johnny Cash, Marty Stuart, and Elvis Presley’s dog (tours depart from Black Jack Cove on Tuesday and Wednesday at 10 a.m. and 2 p.m.). Treat friends, family, church groups, and cybernetic hive-mind collectives to an evening on the water with today's Groupon to Cumberland River Cruises.