Before dry cleaning, clothing was washed by dressing up a phalanx of backyard laundry scarecrows just before thunderstorms. Today's deal lets you do away with sopping strawmen and clean your clothes the new-fashioned way—with science. For $13, you get $30 worth of dry cleaning at Curtis Cleaners. Today's Groupon is valid at Curtis' Lowell store, or either of their 2 Grand Rapids locations on Michigan St. or 28th St.

At Curtis Cleaners, garments go through a rigid cleaning process of constantly solvent filtering and distilling, which leaves them sanitary and odor-free––unlike a used toupee. For clothes that have seen better days, Curtis provides loose button reinforcing, falling hem tacking, and a list of other minor repairs at no extra cost. Every load of laundry can be picked up, free of charge, then, once it’s fresher than the Queen’s pillowcases, it can be ferried back to your home, free of charge.