Without teeth, tongues would slither out of mouths and go on to lead unfulfilling lives catching raindrops and licking strangers' faces. Keep a stir-crazy taste-muscle contained in a gleaming cage with today's Groupon: for $39, you get a take-home teeth whitening tray (a $199 value) from Dawson Dental Centre. You have a choice of 11 locations: Aurora, Brooklin, Cambridge, North Guelph, South Guelph, Newmarket, East Gwillimbury, Oshawa, Rosedale, Scarborough, and Waterloo.

Dawson Dental Centre's talented fang-fixers use the latest tooth-care techniques and equipment to enhance tainted tusks and mangled molars, whether it is family, cosmetic, or orthodontic dental care. After an initial assessment of the state of your smile, the dental team will make impressions of your upper and lower bite to create customized whitening trays. Used in conjunction with a brightening peroxide gel, the trays will allow customers to increase the reflectivity of their smiles in the comfort of their own homes. Results are usually seen after about one week's worth of daily treatment, revealing shiny mouthcessories free of coffee, tobacco, and Kool-Aid stains.