Muscles, like the tails of sleeping cats or levers labeled “drain ocean,” were never meant to be pulled. Reverse the damage with today’s Groupon to Lumina Health Massage in St. Petersburg. Choose between the following options:

• For $25, you get a one-hour hot-stone massage with steam (a $60 value).
• For $50, you get a two-hour couples massage lesson (a $120 value).

The muscle-maneuverists at Lumina Health Massage becalm backs with an arsenal of tried-and-true strokes that couples can learn for easy at-home massages. During a one-hour massage, a therapist attacks knots and tension with a combination of deep tissue, reflexology, and Thai massage modalities, augmenting strokes with hot stones that loosen up fibers without unraveling them. Hot towels surround feet while an exfoliating scrub softens the back’s epidermal wrapper, and a facial steaming session blasts mugs in a heated mist that opens up pores and melts away milk moustaches.

Alternatively, a two-hour class instructs duos in the methods of at-home massages, with each student learning the various techniques of undoing muscle knots and creating a potently relaxing vibe. Each piece of the pair receives a tension-banishing massage from both the instructor and their partner, while hot stones, steam therapy, and Enya holograms ensure that stresses evaporate before couples return to their love nest.