Properly functioning colons flush toxins out of systems, just as properly functioning firehoses flush unwanted houseguests out of dinner parties. Clear 'em out with today’s Groupon: for $30, you get a colon-hydrotherapy session at Desert Colon Hydrotherapy in Palm Desert.

Desert Colon Hydrotherapy cleans out the body’s tributaries using the FDA-approved Angel of Water system. Once the patient is comfortably positioned on the treatment bed, soothing 100-degree water flows into the colon via gravity, loosening up accumulated grime and top-secret documents before ultimately transporting waste out of the body. Clients connect the device themselves and control all stages of the 50-minute treatment within their own private, secluded room in the spa-like setting. Though results may vary, hydrotherapy has been found to relieve fatigue, bloating, headaches, and sedimentary buildup.