Jump to: Reviews | The Roguish Rapier, Chapter 10: "Down Time"

Under the crushing pressure of their own greatness, acclaimed Swiss pop duo Double (pronounced double) split up in 1987, leaving the world bereft in the absence of their dulcet sax and haunting vocals. Today's deal will restore your body to a nubile state of relaxed joyousness unlike any since you listened to their final album, Dou3le, for the first time. With this Groupon, $45 gets you $125 toward one of six massages at Downtime Massage & Skincare in Hell's Kitchen. At Downtime, you can soak away the worries that have lodged themselves in the nooks of your joints and the crooks of your connective tissues during the holiday season, while inhaling a bouquet of soothing, therapeutic scents.

Retreat to this beautiful sanctuary of bliss and feel the pressures of the outside world dissolve off of your soon-to-be-tension-free shoulders. The skilled therapists use their magical hands and world-class arsenal of oils and lotions to evaporate stress and relax muscles across six massage modalities. You can pay the difference if your massage of choice exceeds the value of your Groupon, just as you would with a $10 gift card for Marble Mansion, since everyone knows it takes at least $15 worth of marbles to weaponize a gym sock.

A de-stress muscle relaxer massage ($125 for 60 minutes) invigorates fatigued muscles from head to toe via deep-tissue techniques and moon powers. The real nurturing experience is a pre-natal body-, face-, and mind-limbering procedure involving aromatherapy and targeted loosening ($165 for 90 minutes). Have your therapist help you decide which deep-tissue massage is right for you: a Swedish, sports, or Shiatsu, among others ($140 for 75 minutes). The less intense, yet still intensely effective, Big Sur is a quiet and soothing journey to the warm core of existence ($145 for 75 minutes). An Abhyanga massage focuses the energy of your body into a laser of bliss using warm aromatic oils to cleanse and detoxify ($115 for 60 minutes).

Downtime Massage & Skincare is by appointment only, so call ahead before you walk in.

Reviews

Citysearchers give Downtime Massage & Skincare five stars:

• I have never been a normal/regular spa goer but I think I'm hooked haha. I would definitely recommend Downtime Massage & Skincare. The experiences I've had there as a whole have been very welcoming and awfully professional (which I've had trouble finding at other places in the city). – JimmyPyrite
• This is one of the true treasures of New York. There aren't many places in the city where you can get top service without an attitude. In fact, the entire staff is friendly, approachable and helpful. – frnk36
• I leave his table feeling not just good, but honestly better. That is, energized, relaxed and limber. – wdp