In attempts to reach faraway mountain tops, humans have tried imitating the skittering movement of lizards, applying sticky pads to palms, and commandeering billy goats’ snowmobiles. Find your way to the top with today's Groupon: for $30, you get a five-hour intro-to-outdoor-rock-climbing class at Doylestown Rock Gym (a $65 value).

Doylestown Rock Gym's crackerjack climbers instruct students in a variety of mountain-mounting techniques. In the intro-to-outdoor-rock-climbing course, up to 20 aspiring ascenders bear down on climbing basics on an actual rock wall, gaining real-world climbing experience that can’t be matched by scaling the man-made waterfall at the mall. Upward-crawling techniques upload themselves to brain databases, along with safety practices, outdoor ethics, and methods for finding the best route to the top without getting a compass tattoo. Classes meet at 10 a.m. sharp at the High Rocks at Ralph Stover State Park, where students strive toward top-down views of the scenic area. This course requires no prior experience and provides all necessary climbing gear. Children 16 and under should be accompanied by an adult.