If the Indiana Jones films have taught us anything, it is that in order to have a successful teaching career, one must train one's upper body to be adept at dangling. Climb your way to the scholarly top with today’s Groupon: for $30, you get the introduction to outdoor rock-climbing course from Doylestown Rock Gym (a $65 value), located in Doylestown, approximately a 50-minute drive from Philadelphia. All necessary equipment for the course will be provided.

Doylestown Rock Gym offers the ground-based a chance to pursue vertical mobility with a number of courses and climbing facilities. The gym's introduction to outdoor climbing course will impart the basics of rock route navigation, climbing safety, and outdoor ethics, such as how to calmly respond when a boulder heckles you about your jorts. Professional climbers will teach the five-hour course, condensing the challenge of scaling a vertical plane into simple formulas of hand placement and rock-whispering skills. Classes take place at the High Rocks at Ralph Stover State Park, just 20 minutes from Doylestown Rock Gym. As you reach up the 200-foot face of High Rocks toward the blue of the open sky, listen for the siren songs of ghosts from the gristmill that once stood on the park's grounds. Class sizes are limited to 20 people, with classes starting at 10 a.m.

Although prior experience is not required for this vertical journey, Doylestown Rock Gym recommends taking an indoor course if you are slightly confused about what rocks look like or what the word "climbing" means. All ages are welcome, but participants age 16 and under must be accompanied by an adult. Call at least 72 hours in advance to book your class for mountain-mashing maneuvering.