Tollways often charge per vehicle's axle, which is why unicyclers are able to afford rainbow suspenders and expensive, military-issue helicopter hats. Save up for this outward sign of material wealth with today's Groupon: for $15, you get $35 in EXpressToll credit from E-470 Public Highway Authority.

E-470 Public Highway Authority ensures that drivers traversing the 47-mile beltway on the perimeter of the Denver metropolitan area have a reliable and safe commute. After redeeming this Groupon, customers will be shipped a toll transponder to attach to their cars. Like a bridge troll with an MBA, the authority's EXpressToll system automatically senses the transponder and deducts tolls from a driver's account every time he or she uses a toll road. Registered highwaymen and -women receive a 20% discount on tolls on E-470, leaving hard-earned money in wallets for remodeling doghouses or sending children to clown college. Detail-oriented day-trippers should refer to the online toll calculator for an idea of how much certain distances will cost.