Much like an automobile, the human body requires proper care to stay healthy and good-looking for calendar photos. Maintain your natural mode of transportation with today's Groupon: for $99, you get two laser hair-removal sessions or two 4"x 4" tattoo-removal sessions at Eastern Shore Plastic Surgery in Fairhope (up to an $800 value). Click here for a list of valid laser hair-removal areas.

Under the steady watch of Dr. Staggers and Dr. Bolling, Eastern Shore Plastic Surgery's staff refurbishes epidermises in a pristine clinic. During a laser hair-removal session, beams scour swaths of skin for unwelcome turf, and a cooling system keeps clients comfortable. Six weeks after treatment, clients return to Eastern Shore to banish any hairs that believed the exile was merely temporary. A total of six sessions may be required to achieve ultimate smoothness.

Alternatively, clients seeking to part ways with body ink can pit their tats against the Q-Switched laser, whose beams saturate ink deposits and break them into tiny particles. The body then flushes the unwanted ink out of its system. Clients may require up to six sessions to remove all traces of tattoos, depending on the type of ink, its depth, and its ability to hide behind freckles.