In the past, gaining entrance into ultra-secret elitist clubs required connections in high places and a bizarre initiation rite involving mangoes and fishing tackle. Today's Groupon democratizes access to fitness fit for the aristocracy, For $55, new clients get a one-month membership and a Polar BodyAge Assessment at Elite Sports Club (up to a $142 value). This Groupon can be used at your choice of Elite's West Brookfield, East Brookfield, Mequon, or North Shore location. The month-long membership (up to an $82 value) can only be redeemed by persons 18 years or older, and must be activated by May 19, 2010. Once you have begun your membership, it is valid only for the location where the membership was activated (you are also provided with a one-time guest pass to visit another location).

Elite Sports Club started as an all-tennis facility, but over the years has netted a larger variety of fitness activities and services to create multi-purpose, family-oriented clubs. Elite's large facilities house high-end cardio and weight equipment such as LifeFitness, Cybex, Paramount, Matrix, Star Trac, and Precor machines, basketball/sport courts, and Pilates and GRAVITY studios (GRAVITY training encourages organic movement and exercise by using the body’s own weight as resistance). Elite's classes and group training vary by club location, but include Pilates, Body Blitz Boot Camp, Women on Weights, triathlon training, and a miscellany of junior fitness classes to teach youngsters the importance of health, nutrition, and not acting their shoe size. All locations grant their members free tennis-court time from June through August, and all can provide daycare services.

During your Polar BodyAge Assessment ($60 value), one of Elite's personal trainers will apply futuristic techniques and equipment provided by the nation's top health authorities (including the American College of Sports Medicine, the American Heart Association, and the American Dietetic Association) to evaluate your current health and help you set goals for a healthier future. Using your post-assessment "body-age score" and colorful resulting graphs, your trainer will swiftly transition from premature-ageing scare tactics to the customization of a nutrition and exercise plan that will have you ageing just right, like parmesan. It is recommended to schedule a follow-up assessment one month after your first meeting to help yourself stay on track.