For centuries mankind has envied pizza dough and wondered how we too could be kneaded to relaxed, savory states without paying for the luxury of being escorted via wooden paddle to a Sicilian brick oven. Eliminate pizza envy with today's Groupon: for $30, you get a one-hour Swedish massage at Evansville Massage Specialists, located on Kenmore Drive.

With more than 30 years of combined experience in their skilled hands, the expert team at Evansville Massage Specialists knows how to untangle the tricky knots, soothe sore shoulders, and dissolve stubborn tensions from over-stressed fleshoskeletons. The Swedish massage employs gentle, flowing strokes to sweep away muscular aches and boost healthy circulation. In addition to alleviating physical pains and stiffness, the massage experience promotes deep mental calm, which is imperative to overcoming daily challenges and communing with telepathic houseplants.

Candles flicker against muted moss green walls in Evansville Massage Specialists' soothing and homey interior, setting the stage for symphonies of relaxation. Use today's Groupon for a well-deserved retreat from holiday chaos, and snag an extra to stuff in the stocking of a deserving friend, a frazzled landlord, or a stressed-out stocking enthusiast.

Reviews

Google Mappers, five Insider Pagers and four Yahoo! Locals all give Evansville Massage Specialists a five-star average:

• The staff were all so polite and the massage therapists really took the time to know what areas of concern I had. Very professional and knowledgible [sic] staff. – Randi G., Insider Pages
• The rooms are comfortable and music great. I love to relax and I have never left without feeling that my therapist must have a doctorate in magic! – Google Mapper who reviewed on 7/12/2010