It was Benjamin Franklin who famously quipped, "Opposable thumbs, shoes, and cookies for breakfast are the only things separating us from the animals." Tie some dignity to your feet with today's Groupon: for $25, you get $50 worth of shoes at FootMotion in Reedley. This Groupon is not valid for Jordan, Vans, or limited edition brands.

FootMotion swaddles the ambulatory extremities of men, women, and children in fashionable footwear—spoiling soles with Skechers, Reebok, and Adidas brands while deftly defending its title as one of Central Valley’s largest independent Nike dealers. Exercise one's hard-won right to tread off the beaten path (pending Congressional approval) in Nike Free Walkers ($89.99+), or practice slow dancing in zero gravity with a pair of Nike LunarGlide+ 2s ($99.99+) so that you're ready for this year's Space Prom. Otherwise, pounce on a pair of Pumas ($39.99+) or store one's heels inside a cushy container from Bebe Sport, Converse, or Ed Hardy.