Though best known for expanding the limits of human thought, the great philosophers were also ardent proponents of skin treatments—rarely furrowing their brows without first applying a de-furrowing cucumber mask. Wipe out your own philosophical furrows with today’s Groupon to Fountain of Youth in Hartland. Choose between the following options:

• For $39, you get one microdermabrasion (an $85 value).
• For $99, you get three microdermabrasions (a $225 value).
  
  

The skin savants at Fountain of Youth level facial playing fields with noninvasive medical microdermabrasions. Sessions start with a free skin consultation, in which a licensed technician examines and analyzes outer layers. During the 30-minute procedure, a highly controlled stream of suction and fine crystals removes dead skin cells, revealing fresher, more Justin Bieber–like skin. The treatment also aims to smooth facial lines and minor scars while minimizing blemishes and uneven skin tones. By utilizing a noninvasive method of extraction, technicians diminish pain and whittle down downtime to an experience faster than the speed of neutrinos.