Paintball is a safe way to quickly jettison buckets of unwanted paint into other people's washing machines. Today's Groupon makes anyone an artistic paint disposer for $20 with an all-day paintball package (a $76.50 value) at Giant Paintball. This deal covers entry fee and the rental of a semi-automatic shooter, mask, goggles, ammo belt, loader, air, and 200 paintballs at Giant's giant fields in Alpine and Lakeside. If you want more paintballs, $14 fetches 400 rounds extra, which, when combined with your initial 200, adds up to roughly five hours of duck-and-dodge strategizing (unless your trigger finger is exceptionally itchy).

Giant Paintball's fields are artfully designed with players of all experience levels in mind, making each game a thrilling venture for novices and experts alike. The newly reconstructed Alpine fields (formally Weekend Warrior Paintball) offer a variety of challenges across 25 acres of terrain. Both locations have creative paintball playgrounds, such as a huge castle field, close-quarters combat zones, a cowboy ghost town, and a bombed-out city. Giant's paintball parks were designed by the creators of the world-famous SC Village and Hollywood Sports Park, making a day of marauding with friends and foe a sweetly coordinated and pleasant thing to do.

The parks are open on Saturdays and Sundays, but if you and other Groupon-toting chums can coordinate a group of 20 or more, either location will open the park on an off day so you can have a birthday party, retirement party, or high-velocity tea party. Reenact the final battle in Starship Troopers or spend all day building competitors' trust and confidence before spattering them in the back like Richard Pryor did in the famous campfire scene from Blazing Saddles. As Hedley Lamarr said in the apocryphal DVD commentary of Blazing Saddles, "I want you to round up every vicious criminal and gunslinger in the West, line them up, and splatter them with paint."

Reviews

Though there are few online reviews of Giant Paintball, SPLATXD magazine, a digital digest for serious 'ballers, gave an enthusiastic account of the first-ever West Coast Castle Conquest, held at Giant Paintball’s Alpine location:

• At 11am the game whistle blew and West Coast Castle Conquest was on! A number of the Defenders ran outside to specially built rampart walls that lined the perimeter of the castle, while the remaining crew manned windows on all four sides, waiting for the Attackers to send in their first wave. Over the course of an hour the Attackers continued to pour up the hill towards the castle, driving the Defenders out of the outside defensive positions. Eventually the Attackers swarmed the castle, captured all five designated props, and declared victory. – SPLATXD