Lasers can remove hair without painful wax, much like hoses can scare kids off the lawn without photorealistic ghost-pirate costumes. Shoo away loitering whiskers with today's Groupon: for $99, you get six laser hair-removal treatments at Glenoaks Laser Center in Glendale (up to a $570 value). This deal is valid for the following treatment areas: upper lip/chin, jaw line, cheeks, neck (front or back), ears, sideburns, underarms, or bikini line.

Glenoaks Laser Center's peppering of palm trees exudes a calming vibe as its arsenal of advanced lasers comfortably performs a slew of skin-bettering services. Laser hair removal can evict up to 90% of unwanted hair in six sessions, revamping any regrowth into finer, lighter, and French-speaking versions of their previous selves. Wielding a Candela GentleLase hand piece, laser masters wave the machine's pulsating light over the chosen treatment spot while clients repose atop a cushy table. As the beam glows over the skin, laser energy forages into each follicle, where it breaks down strandular pigments, most effectively on darker hair, without damaging nearby pores or gathered crowds of dimple bystanders. A cooling tip counteracts the heat given off as the rays reach the body bark, and the center's stock of anesthetic gel further quells pangs felt by sensitive nerves. After each session, the skeletal wrapper may appear reddened, but requires little to no downtime, allowing previously scheduled entries into the Human Kite-a-Thon to resume with increased aerodynamics.