Golf memberships grant admittance to the PGA's secret society, a shadowy group that protects Arnold Palmer's famed half-and-half recipe and rigs the Oscars so Caddyshack is always nominated for Best Picture. Get a taste of exclusivity with today's Groupon: for $699, you get a one-year single golf membership to Grand Palms Golf Club (a $2,289.60 value) in Pembroke Pines.

Armed with a Grand Palms membership card, golfers can skip green fees on a trio of nine-hole championship courses, slide into an Olympic-size swimming pool, and enjoy discounts on everything from tennis to golf merchandise. On weekdays or weekends, members can make tee times seven days in advance for the Grand, Royal, or Sabal golf courses, each with its own flavor that combine to create a challenging 27-hole golfing paella. Lined with water hazards and sand traps, the courses span more than 20,000 yards of verdure fairways and picturesque greens. To help golfers stay the course, carts ($13+) are equipped with GPS that estimates the distance to the hole and the likelihood of your tee shot burning up upon reentry. Discover your handicap with a complimentary USGA-approved GHIN handicapping system, and then lower your score with plentiful practice greens, an aquatic driving range, and otters trained to retrieve errant shots.

Grand Palms golf members also get a 10% discount at the Grand Palms Resort Continental Restaurant, which tops plates with breakfast buffets, lunches, and dinners and invites golfers to celebrate their round with a drink at the poolside tiki bar. Punctuate golf games with a tennis match on one of the resort's six clay courts (members save 10% of admission), or tour the pro shop, where members save 20% off selected merchandise. The first 200 members to join will receive a free annual locker, complete with a hidden portal that leads to Jack Nicklaus's garage.