Mankind's feeble climbing skills and inability to digest delicious tin cans are two ways in which evolution left humans inferior to goats. Channel your inner mountain goat with today's Groupon: for $17, you get a two-hour introductory climbing class at Granite Arch Climbing Center in Rancho Cordova (a $35 value).

Granite Arch Climbing Center imparts rock-face fledglings and spider people alike with rock-scaling know-how inside one of California's largest indoor mountain ranges. Break the bonds of gravity in a two-hour Climbing 101 class, which teaches basic boulder movements, how to read rock routes, and the importance of postponing celebratory high-fives until you're done belaying. As the knowledgeable staff trains your class partner on proper belaying techniques, simulate the bliss of cuddling a mountain by cuddling a man-made rock surface on your way to the man-made peak. Each class has a 10-person cap and equips amateur alpinists with all necessary gear, including a harness, belay device, shoes, and chalk bags, good for leaving Hansel-and-Gretel-like inedible chalk trails to the ground.

After graduating Climbing 101, participants can become patrons and delight in Granite Arch's rock repository by debasing climbing caves, handling overhangs, and domineering electrical closet ladders. Customers must call ahead to schedule classes, available on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday evenings from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m., with open climbs for partners 8 p.m. to 10 p.m.

Reviews

CBS Sacramento named Granite Arch Climbing Center one of the Best Rock Climbing Walls in the Sacramento Area:

• The walls in the rock gym are sculpted to resemble some of the most famous climbing areas in the world including Yosemite. Many experienced climbers use Granite Arch to keep their skills up when weather doesn’t permit outside climbing. They also have youth climbing clubs and teams.