Booking your body double a beautifying treatment at a tranquil day spa creates a soundproof alibi for days spent stealing office supplies from the National Guard. Make your stand-in stand out and replace your tape with Bazooka putty with today’s Groupon: for $59, you get a Martini Deluxe Spa Package (up to a $223.19 value, including tax) at The Green Spa & Wellness Center on Third Avenue. This Groupon is valid for the listed services only.

The Green Spa’s chic three-floor wellness center offers customized treatments and lavish spa services in a sustainable, eco-conscious environment. The Martini Deluxe Spa Package is a multi-tiered, beauty-begetting process. An organic express facial (an $85 value) plunders pores of dirt, grime, and gravy build-up using only top-quality, all-natural products. You’ll also receive a lavish wellness massage that uses organic oil to treat tired muscles and hydrate dry dermises. Next, choose between two treatments—in anticipation of an evening gala unaided by spritely third cousins or wizard uncles, opt for an eco-makeup application (a $75 value) of skincare-grade mineral-based products. Or if you aspire to a serene state of relaxation, try the exfoliating steam and Swiss shower (a $38 value). You’ll self-apply an exfoliant to all skin surfaces while in the steam room; the heated chamber will melt the moisturizing salts and oils deep into the dermis before you rinse off in the soothing luxury of a nine-jetted Swiss shower.

Treating yourself to a day of personal pampering benefits the health of both your mind and body, while a complimentary martini, infused with the spa’s signature red tea, only adds to the joyous dualism. Take this opportunity to rejuvenate a body withered by a long summer in the sun, or gift this Groupon to an under-pampered protégé as thanks for putting up with endless Frasier-themed jokes.

This Groupon is not valid with other offers. Cancellations require at least 48 hours’ notice, or the Groupon is forfeited.

Reviews

The Green Spa & Wellness Center gets a four-star average on Yelp and a perfect five stars on Citysearch:

• My Massage was excellent I instantly felt better. My massage therapist was very knowledgable [sic] and explained to me what and where the pain was and why I was feeling it. She also showed me some stretches to do which I try to do as often as possible. – princessjay, Citysearch
• I've been to this spa many times and I've never had a bad experience. – Amanda W., Yelp