Like a potato, if the human body is not properly mashed and moisturized, it will never be used for anything more than a science project battery. Make sure your body is properly fluffed and buttered with today's soothing Groupon: for $85, you get a choice of either a 60-minute massage or a radiance facial (a $255 value) at Guerlain Spa in The Waldorf Astoria on Park Avenue.

Guerlain Spa opened in The Waldorf Astoria in 2007, poised in luxurious partnership with the grandeur of the historic hotel. The opulent spa sprawls over 14,000 square feet, and contains 16 treatment rooms and numerous amenities. A 60-minute massage from one of Guerlain’s skilled therapists comes in three flavors. Deep-tissue technique is designed for fully stressed muscles with previous massage experience. Shiatsu targets pressure points and helps regulate bodily energy, and Swedish is a classic combination of lighter-pressure techniques, ideal for first-time massage-partakers or people with skin made out of papier-mâché. Alternately, polish a frayed frontispiece with a radiance facial, an hour-long deep cleansing treatment that includes a soothing mask and smile-inducing facial massage.

Decked out in contrasting neutral tones, marble, cascading crystals, and diaphanous white drapes, Guerlain is, aesthetically speaking, decked out in contrasting neutral tones, marble, cascading crystals, and diaphanous white drapes. Complimentary valet parking is available during the treatment. Groupon-carriers also get full access to the fitness center the day of their treatment, so come in early and earn your treat by working up a frothy sweat. Call to make your reservation, and book as far in advance as possible for Saturday appointments.