Biking is the most efficient way to travel from location to location without a series of well-placed trampolines or full control over a vestigial tail. Get where you need to go without challenging your human status with today’s Groupon: for $49, you get half-day mountain-bike rentals and trail passes for two to Hardwood Ski and Bike in Oro (up to a $98.31 value, including HST). Rentals last from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. or from 1 p.m. to 5 p.m. Groupon customers will also receive coupons for 25% off admission to Scales Nature Park and 25% off one to five laps at Shanty Bay Go-Karts (limit 1 per person, per ride, per day).

Hardwood Ski and Bike engages cyclists with 80 kilometres of mountain-bike trails of varying difficulties ranging from beginner to expert. Strap on the included helmet, saddle up on a Trek 6000 bike, and make jet-engine noises as the cycle's 26-inch wheels roll down dirt trails and Avid brakes prevent squirrel collisions. The 2.5-kilometre Sprockids trail entices mountaineers to pedal leisurely through dense, verdant forests, and the Gnarly trail lays down a 12-kilometre gauntlet where bikers climb hills and lean into hairpin turns. Invisible circus performers and children younger than 6 are not subject to a trail-pass fee, and customers may purchase optional insurance for an additional $5.

After traversing the trails, bikers can try out several additional activities included with their trail pass. Challenge the low-ropes course or settle feuds at volleyball and badminton courts. Meanwhile, visitors rent discs to launch across a nine-hole disc-golf course and toss clydesdale-sized penny loafers at the horseshoe pitch.