Though best known for expanding the limits of human thought, the great philosophers were also ardent proponents of skin treatments—rarely furrowing their brows without first applying a de-furrowing cucumber mask. Today’s Groupon will wipe out your own philosophical furrows: for $59, you get $125 worth of services at Heavenly Spa by Westin, inside the The Westin Beach Resort, Fort Lauderdale.

The luxurious spa beautifies bone boxes with a soothing barrage of massages, skin treatments, and other pampering services. While some choose to expel dead-skin particles by sleeping on a subwoofer, others opt for more logical methods such as a 50-minute purity facial ($125) or an exfoliating revive scrub ($120). The signature rollerssage massage involves the rolling of spherical, heated crystals over the entire body to create a calming, deep-penetrating experience ($130, 50 minutes). Relax with the aid of the long, soothing strokes of a 50-minute Swedish massage ($115), or relieve tension with the focused stimulation of a 50-minute deep-tissue massage ($130). Pamper finger shingles after a long day of digging assistive holes for injured worms with a 25-minute classic manicure ($35) and 50-minute classic pedicure ($65). Each service is dished out by a trained aesthetician, ensuring body parts leave looking as fresh as a bouquet of cryogenically frozen daisies.

Rejuvenate skin and boast a strikingly maintained corpus inside the spa’s 6,500-square-foot facility that features multiple treatment rooms, a steam room, its own gravitational pull, and more. Each treatment will leave bodies feeling like newly constructed bliss temples, helping skin look its healthiest and bodies feel like the bodies of younger humans.

Reservations are required.