In addition to experiencing the humiliation of being buried by dogs and dug up by science teachers, skeletons are ornery because they lack the musculature necessary to get massaged. Avoid taking your skin for granted with today’s Groupon: for 60- or 90-minute massages with herbal tea at Holistic Life Institute in Oakdale. Choose between the following options:

• For $32, you get a 60-minute massage with choice of one modality and herbal tea (a $65 value).
• For $45, you get a 90-minute massage with choice of any two modalities and herbal tea (a $95 value).<p>

Guests may choose from any of the following modalities: Swedish, deep-tissue, acupressure, shiatsu, hot stone, or raindrop.<p>

Holistic Life Institute’s massage therapists trained for 500 hours on-site to learn to effectively marry East and Western massage techniques. Nimble fingers untie muscular shoelaces as they tread across backs and target aches and stresses. The therapist employs special techniques from the kneading strokes of Swedish massage, to the firm pressure of deep-tissue massage, to the paradoxically needle-free acupuncture of acupressure massage. Before the 90-minute massage, steaming mugs of green tea help to calm tense minds and warm physiques. Then, the massage therapist performs massages in any two modalities to melt pain, awaken energy, and recharge guests’ inner solar panels. Guests who choose the 90-minute option may choose two different modalities upon redemption.