Until science finds a way to convert food into an app that can be downloaded directly into our iBellies, humanity is stuck eating it the old-fashioned way. Make the most of outmoded taste bud technology with today's Groupon for eclectic kosher sandwiches and more at Holy Schnitzel on Staten Island. Holy Schnitzel puts an American and Mediterranean dance step to traditional kosher fare in a family-friendly atmosphere. The cigar platter ($5.50) kicks off the mouth mitzvah with spiced beef wrapped in crispy filo with a side of tahini. Schnitzel-kickers, meanwhile, can savor the chicken cutlets in a variety of iterations, including the holy schnitzel (specially breaded and resting devoutly upon a baguette) or the loco schnitzel, which sports spicy chili flakes ($8.95 each). Diners can also keep one hand free for swashbuckling with the holy guacamole burger ($7.95) or the falafel wrap with hummus ($5.95) to fill their bellies. A dessert of chocolate-filled cigars ($4.50) will finish the feast on a sweet note, and can also be used to celebrate the birth of an Oompa-Loompa.

Reviews

The Staten Island Advance profiled Holy Schnitzel. Seventy-one percent of Urbanspooners recommend it.