Like a potato, if the human body is not properly mashed and moisturized, it will never be used for anything more than a science-project battery. Make sure your body is properly fluffed with today's soothing Groupon: for $57, you get a 60-minute men’s deep-tissue massage (an $85 value) and signature men’s haircut (a $30 value) at Hyde Park Body Works at A New Attitude Beauty Studio. Groupon customers also get one bottle of shampoo, one bottle of conditioner, and one bottle of styling gel from Woody's Grooming (a $131.50 total value).

Hyde Park Body Works’ Rosita Diaz coaxes chronic tension and deep-seated stressors out of muscular hiding places during her 60-minute deep-tissue massage. Each hands-on knead can reduce muscle constriction and tightness as Diaz forces kinks to unravel, knots to disentangle, and Knicks to stop wadding clients into makeshift basketballs. Trade in springtime shag for a sleek summer cut with a designer’s men’s haircut. Stylists snip split ends into chic strands, designing flattering dude hairdos fit for days at the beach, nights on the dance floor, or mornings in the bushes behind the postman’s house.